Welp, it's that time of year where I check my Naughty and Nice lists, and—no surprise—there you were at the top of the Nice list. We both knew this would happen. After the first ten years, I just had your name printed in the number one slot.
Don't get me wrong, I really appreciate your commitment to do-goodery, but man, don't you have any vices? I once watched you meticulously herd earthworms off a wet sidewalk. You give out handmade Christmas gifts—to your second cousins once removed. You pay for all the streaming services you use.
I'm not asking you to go kick puppies or anything, but gosh, maybe do something for yourself once in awhile too. Take two free samples at the store instead of one. Eat whipped cream out of a mayonnaise jar in public. Hang the toilet paper the wrong way (you know which way that is).
Have some fun! Christmas is the giving season, so give yourself a little fun (and I promise not to bump you down to number two).